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The Da Vinci Code, Good Or Bad? An Opinion From The
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Da Vinci Delusion: 13 Strong Reasons to Resist Such
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Tom Hanks and Opie
The Dan Brown Effect (Aka The Da Vinci Code)
Decoding and Debunking the DaVinci Code
More Secrets of Leonardo Da Vinci
The Secret Code - The Truth Behind the Da Vinci Code
4 8 15 16 23 42 Better Than the Da Vinci Code
Mary Magdalene-A Faithful Disciple of Jesus Christ
Your Hidden Da Vinci Code
Is The Da Vinci Code Cracked - Or Just the People Who
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While the usual expectation is that we
are simple-minded enough to be caught up in the
mass-media Tsunami created by The Da Vinci Code,
now a movie starring Tom Hanks, so that we might all the
better assist Hollywood in carting off its share of
megabucks from this transient tempest for historical
tots, let us explore how we might, instead, observe the
refitted ancient frigate pass by on time's wide and
eternal river, as we lounge on the bank in supine
placidity, or, as a generous gesture, consent to turn
our eyes toward the flick just for the faux tension of
it all.
Since we believe our readers wish us to address every
issue that troubles us via the news without flinching,
so that we may all find ease in seeing the sanely funny
side of it, we assume you'll allow this attempt to see
the book cum movie as, in W. S. Gilbert's bouncy phrase,
"a source of innocent merriment."First, let's
consider the tooting of the ship's horn in the light of
history as it has actually come to be agreed on, to the
extent that events 1,700 years or so ago can be
rigorously sifted. As a soothing antidote in advance for
our faithful readers, we advise that, as the council
under consideration occurred in 325 AD, Christ had long
since escaped to the realm where modification of his
life, as the Gospels present it or as a paragraph in
Roman history reputedly refers to it, was beyond the
debates of ever-contentious humankind.
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When our tidy history is over, we'll also
offer a few suggestions on which we may all
pillow our world-thumped heads.
To provide historical solidity as a basis for
our determinedly placid outlook, as much as a
considerate paragraph or so can, let's recount
the facts as they have been bruited about now
for some centuries.
When Constantine, later, The Great, became
Emperor, the Roman Empire was, we are told, in
disarray.
The old faith, Paganism, had begun to lose
its hold as a credible unifying force. |
The new Emperor noticed that a widespread heresy
called Christianity was gaining more and more
enthusiasts, who were by previous emperors, particularly
Diocletian, later, The Dunce, rather regularly
annihilated by being sent to the flames or fed to the
lions.
The incalculably optimistic idea occurred to the new
Emperor, a fierce general now in the uncomfortable role
of a make-nice diplomat, that he might unite the
faltering Empire anew by making the nascent faith the
official religion of the Empire.
Despite catcalls from the nobles who still adhered to
the pagan pantheon, he forged ahead, only to discover
that, once in open proliferation, many a Christian
theologian began to tear at the sanctimonious fabric he
had so carefully draped over the fault lines of the
quaking Empire. Growing anxious that his grand tarp
might be rent irreparably, he called the diverse
debaters to gather at the ancient city of Nicaea to hash
out their disagreements once and for all time.
So intent was he to wrest unity from the 300 or so
colorfully garbed theologians who assembled there that
he deigned to sit among them, on his golden throne,
where he harkened to their hair splitting and tearing
until he grew, as most imperious people are likely to do
on such occasions, impatient.
The principal debate, presented here with appropriate
brevity, was based on what continues to be known as the
heresy of Arius, which revolved around the unavoidably
various word "begotten." What exactly did it mean that
Christ was "begotten" of the Father? Was He actually
flesh of His flesh or some sort of discontinuous
emanation? There was also extensive rhetorical ping-pong
with the equally quicksilver substitute for flesh,
"substance." Finally, Constantine arose from his
majestic duff and dictated what the resolution of the
conflict would be.
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Ever since the landmark Council,
and the resultant Nicene Creed, dutiful
theologians have fretted their conning brows
over such daunting concepts as The Holy Trinity,
or "three Gods in one."
The widely admitted conundrum is
one reason there has long been a divide less
traveled by between acute theologians and devout
acolytes of any faith afoot in the contemporary
world; while one will deal with facts along with
the retention or diminution of faith, the other
wishes to profess his or her faith without an
uninvited tap on the shoulder.
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| Now, what have we to offer in
terms of peaceful council? First, if you are a
believer, we invite you to do as our title
suggests. Imagine yourself in The Sistine
Chapel, lying on the marbled floor, while you
gaze up at Michelangelo's dramatic and inspiring
presentation of God's hand in the Creation.
Venture to St. Peter's Basilica, where you may
stand before Mike's delicately evocative Pieta.
You might also travel to the surprisingly
modest church of St. Peter In Chains, where the
artist's mighty Moses is on display, but be
forewarned, the last time we were there, when
you slipped your coin in the meter to illuminate
the statue, all the better to view it, the spots
did not shine forth. In summary, we suggest that
you rest easy in the long and beautiful
rendition of your faith and trust that it will
go on.
If, on the other hand, you find yourself, as the
dating services provide for the inclination,
"spiritual but not religious," you may make
peace with the brouhaha by understanding that
religion, beyond one that prudently grows out of
an enlightened faith in life itself, is not
primarily about what is credible to the strong
but about what is helpful to the fragile and, in
that inviting sympathy, find your own eternal
ease.
Also, as others have noted, the imbroglio over
the currently troublesome Code is an opportunity
for all attendees to the altar of civilization
to show their reverence for toleration as a
potentially reformative example to the
incendiary throwback of Muslim Fundamentalism,
which currently encroaches on, and would very
much prefer to incinerate, freedom everywhere.
Finally, remember there are many icons that have
been around for so long people no longer care
much about what they're actually made of. They
simply either like them or they don't. And in
this preferentially unexamined category we may
find reverences as august as religion and
trifles as mundane as Heinz Ketchup and
Coca-Cola.
So, whatever you believe, we hope we've helped
you lie back on the bank of time's tripping
river while the ancient-timbered Da Vinci
Code slips by, even with its newly outfitted
sails and come-hither tooting, without casting
even a ripple on your own supine, and, we trust,
inspiringly sublime placidity.
About the Author
Tom Attea, creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six
shows produced Off-Broadway and has written
comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing
""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good,
genuine laughs."
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